[English] A 3-legged elephant and a rotten egg

Hi,

Elaine White, Author of this article

as my fellow readers have already noticed, I try to get some money out of my losses with my little defensive plex character "Elaine White". I tried to elaborate the way that I can farm money from the little basterds that shoot my defenseless Elaine - and next to selling the Killrights for 5,000,000 ISK - I recently discovered another fun way.

I write a mail to the killer, his alliance diplomat and sometimes also alliance leader with the following content:

"Hello <Name of the offender>,

regarding the treaty with  <Offenders Alliance> and  Snuffed Out from YC117, September, you are obliged to reimburse the loss of the  <here a link to the killmail>. The total worth of the ship was 295.123 ISK. Regarding Treaty §3.6 You are obliged to pay 2.3 times the worth of this loss. This comes to a sum of 678.782,9 ISK.

Please transfer the money within 24 hours. Otherwise this will be classified as a grade C incident regarding the YC 117 <Offenders Alliance> / Snuffed Out Treaty. 

With kind regards,

Elaine White

For further information regarding the treaty contact Snuffed Out Diplomat  D0nnieDark0 
The Time for your response ends at 07:00 2016.02.27"

It is not only funny to read the replies, but it is also quite interesting how many people tend to pay money before the try to risk an "incident" of sorts.

Here are some of the greatest answers:

"Dear Ms. White. Sorry for me disregarding the treaty. I had my overview wrong. I have transfered the amount of money, and hope that no other consequences will hit my alliance."

"Well as you can see;
1) Hades Feon is not a member of C.Q.B2) You are not a member of C.Q.B3) SmarncaV2, who blew you ship up is not a member of C.Q.B
Therefore I am unable to process you request for SRP.
I would suggest contacting the lowsec Viceroys of the CFC for SRP, as if it was not for them this alliance would not have deployed here and therefore been in a position to blow your ship up.
I wish you all the best in your quest for SRP and hope that one day you are able to tell the story to your grandchildren with a happy ending."

"No" - I replied then to this guy: "Dammit! Could have worked". His answer: "lol i'll admit you had me going man. I was about to contact former CEO's and ask 'em if we ever signed some secret treaty or something lol"

And the greatest of all, that I got from A Band Apart' diplomat "Argos Gelert" made me laugh for quite a time. Thanks to the parted band and Stay Frosty for this cool reply!

Dear Sir or Madam,

Regarding your claim of a Treaty Violation, it is my sad duty to inform you that no such Treaty exists.  I am sorry that whomever informed you that it did was in error, and am equally apologetic in that even if there were a supposed Treaty in place, you would not qualify for any SRP as 1: We are generally poor, and could not afford even that paltry sum that you mention, and 2: As you are not in Snuffed Out, and have been in the CalMil for some time, you would not be eligible for said benefits, even if they did exist-which they don't.

While we appreciate this rather well thought out mail, we are well aware that it is a fabrication.

As a side-note, a Grade-C Incident in regards to any Treaty we may or may not have, involves a rotten egg, a 3-legged elephant, and an imposter of Morg who claims that Spinoza has a flawed logic in his argument that Reality is Perfection, as despite what Spinoza claims, Reality cannot be Perfection, as Perfection is unattainable and as such does not exist, and Reality does, in fact, exist, making his statement impossible.

Regards,

A.G.

P.S.: Next time, please ask for more that a million ISK!

(This Message has been Approved by Rixx Javix-Vote Joffy for CSM!)

I had to laugh!

Shoutout to all the nice guys that replied to my mails, that paid money or at least thought about "What? We signed a treaty? Dammit! When!"

:-)

Have fun and Fly Reckless,

Elaine White :-)